


As Easy as Falling to Sleep

by lanoirpapillon



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Dream!fic, Ghost!Derek visits Stiles in wolf form in his dreams, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, That was the prompt and I did it, You've been warned, mentions of mpreg, really sad, sad fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-18
Updated: 2013-08-18
Packaged: 2017-12-23 21:18:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/931200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanoirpapillon/pseuds/lanoirpapillon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I love you,” Stiles whispered into the wolf’s ear. “You know that, right? That I love you with all of my being.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	As Easy as Falling to Sleep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kedreeva](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kedreeva/gifts).



Stiles ran his fingers through the wolf’s fur, tugging it gently until it elicited a high pitched whine, and then let go and took a step back.

“I’m dreaming,” He said, crouching in front of the dark colored wolf as it sat on its haunches. It growled lowly, moving it’s large body forward so it was laying on its belly, its face inches from Stiles’ own.

“You can glare at me all you want, but I know twenty minutes ago I took my sleeping pills and cried myself to sleep. Which means you aren’t real, you’re just a figment of my imagination.” _No matter how much I want you to be real, I know you’re not. God, Derek why are you doing this to me?_

The wolf whined again, pushing its wet nose against Stiles’ cheek and licking the underside of his chin. It bumped its forehead against Stiles’ next, and it was in that moment that Stiles knew it was true, this was Derek.

“Why couldn’t you just leave me alone, huh?” He sniffled, moving the back of his hand against his eye roughly to quell the tears. “Is it not enough that your memory haunts me? I can’t even walk down the hallway without remembering something, let alone the rest of our house. I see the pack, and I remember. I see our daughter, Derek, I see her and burst into tears. I haven’t held her since you…” He choked, bringing his hand up over his mouth to stop the impending sob. “Since you died. You know that you’ve died, right?”

_That you left me all alone, that you abandoned me. You could have healed, dammit. Did you not love me enough to heal?_

The wolf inclined its head before looking into Stiles’ eyes steadily. It panted in his face once, the warm air not as ghastly as he expected, it smelled like Derek. Like when Derek would smile at five in the morning, fresh out of the shower with the bathroom door wide open and the smell of his shampoo and body wash wafting into the room, as he would teasingly breath against Stiles mouth and kiss him awake. That smell, like Derek’s entire being was surrounding him, encasing him in a protective barrier of Derek.

Stiles always thought it meant that Derek would be there. That Derek was this impenetrable, unbreakable force. A shield around Stiles and their little puppy who screamed the last time she saw Stiles, screamed because her Uncle Scott had to tell her her Papa was never coming home.

Her little nose was sensitive, that was Stiles’ excuse. He needed to air the house of Derek’s scent. Please Scott, could you keep her for just a few days? I promise, after that, I’ll take her back. I just need a few days, just give me that.

_You watched my husband die and did nothing. How can I even call you my best friend? You let him slip away like he meant nothing at all, like he was unimportant, like his existence didn’t balance mine out and now I’m off kilter and falling off the face of the Earth._

“Why?” He breathed out, watching the wolf stand and stretch its back before walking towards the forest again. Stiles knew that this meant Derek was leaving. That this wolf was truly Derek, and he was just going to walk away and not give him a reason for abandoning him, them, the pack.

The wolf’s shoulders hunched, and Stiles could imagine Derek doing the exact same thing. Always during a fight, Stiles would know the exact words to throw at Derek to make it hurt. And Derek would go off, hunched shoulders and face downcast, and tears, dammit for being so unemotional he was so emotional, in his eyes, into a deeper part of the house where he could be alone and leave Stiles to regret everything he’d just spewed out because that was what Stiles did. He would verbally vomit all around Derek and Derek didn’t mind, he ignored it, and accepted him, and loved him, and Stiles was the biggest fucker ever.

“You love me.”

The wolf turned around then, eyes narrowed and approached Stiles. It was large enough to rest the top of its head flat against his heart and Stiles choked on a sob.

_“Why do you always do this? It’s like you orgasm and become a cuddle monster.”_

_“I just like listening to your heartbeat, dumb ass. It’s always so fast and when it gets too slow I know its time for another round.”_

It moved its head further down Stiles’ torso to his stomach, this time nuzzling the taut muscles, his eyes turned to Stiles’.

_“There is something inside me, oh my God, there is a child inside of me Derek. What the fuck?”_

_Derek had ran his hands over the slight protrusion, kissing the swollen midsection and staring up into Stiles’ eyes._

_“Beautiful, so beautiful. I love you like this, my pup safely nestled inside of you.”_

_“Dude it was nothing on your part. Remember all of the rituals and the sacrifices Derek, those poor chickens. Your sperm were the smallest factor in this entire debacle.”_

_Derek brushed his stubble across Stiles’ stomach, his eyes flaring red as Stiles shivered with need._

_“Fucking magical pregnancies, dude, I’m ready to go 24/7.”_

_“And I’m not going to complain.”_

The wolf closed its eyes, whining in the back of its throat. Stiles felt something inside of him change, like something was settling permanently, like it was attaching itself to his soul.

“I can’t blame you, can I? You would have stayed if you could?”

The wolf shook its head in an affirmative motion, moving closer so Stiles could wrap his arms around him.

“I love you,” Stiles whispered into the wolf’s ear. “You know that, right? That I love you with all of my being.”

Stiles chuckled as the wolf seemed to purr.

“Just as long as you know. And that you’re okay and,” Stiles paused, collected a breath, and squeezed his eyes shut. “, and you’ll never forget me, or Emmy, or the pack. And you’ll always be with me,” he patted the place over his heart “, in here where it counts. Where I can always fall asleep and find you right here, in this meadow, as a wolf, in your most comfortable form. Okay? Please Derek, promise me.”

The wolf was going to nod, Stiles knew it, but he was pulled away suddenly. The grass beneath his knees vanished, and he was staring at the white ceiling above their bed with tears running down his cheeks.

“Fuck, fuck, oh God, NO!”

Something crashed downstairs, which must have been what woke Stiles up. He rummaged around in his nightstand, grabbed the lock box, entered the code, and picked up his gun. He wiped his face on their comforter and then trudged his way downstairs. He clicked off the safety, not registering the sound of Spongebob coming from the living area until he rounded the corner to see Emmy bundled up in a blanket nestled in a bean bag chair picked out for her by Derek, eating a cup of chocolate pudding.

Stiles dropped the gun in shock, jumping as a hand landed on his shoulder.

“I think it’s time you talked to your daughter.” Scott whispered in his ear, turning Stiles so he could wrap him in a hug. “I know it hurts, but she needs you right now. That’s what Derek would want, bro.”

Stiles was still in shock. He was expecting Derek to have materialized downstairs, but he knew that that was out of the realm of possibility.  
“Yeah I’ll talk to her. Can you wait in the kitchen?”

Because he had heard one last thing. Right as he was pulled away from the dream. A breathy whisper, one he hadn’t ever expected to hear again, right in his ear.

_“Goodbye, Stiles.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Written during a live-write with Anna, Cookie, Ked, and Chasing! Head on over to my tumblr (imwiththewolves.tumblr.com) to see when the next one is scheduled! 
> 
> I don't own anything. I'm apparently good at killing off characters though? *shrugs* (Jeff Davis is secretly my spirit animal okay?)


End file.
